Even though I can’t stand her voice, I had to reference Kylie Jenner who at the beginning of this year said 2016 was going to be the year of realizing stuff. I am not too sure what she meant by this but given the year I’ve had and from my perspective, she was right about 2016 being the year of realizing things.
2016 is my final year of university and I have to start making decisions about my future and what the next step will be for me. My parents are my semi-down my throat about me being independent and all that other adulting stuff (no pressure though, I know it all comes from a place of love).
Apart from uni and other general life movements, many other things came to light for me this year, perhaps a little harder than previous years. I can write about it now because I am no longer in a space where I question any of it or try to figure out why certain things had to go down the way they did, all I know is sometimes situations will arise but you can’t afford to carry the hate, anger or frustrations. You have to make a bold effort to make peace with it all.
Here are the top 5 things 2016 made me realize:
1. Embrace every season
Many people asked me what inspired the name for my blog. Well I was listening to Robert Madu 3 years ago when he talked about the significance of embracing every season day and year in our lives.
Seasons. Days. Years. We can only have fruitful years when we understand the value of each day and we can only do that when we trust God to take us through the season we’re presently in. Don’t allow your season to dictate your faith. Seasons come and go but His Word lasts forever. Don’t give up on the Word He gave you just because your current season is difficult. Every season has its beauty AND its burden. The effect of it depends on your perspective. -Robert Madu
These words have stayed with me and I carry them with me on this blog because not every season is pleasant, not every day is perfect and every year teaches us something about ourselves as we grow and make mistakes along the way.
This year… well I have no words for some of the things apart from many lessons learned, chest pains like no other and having to unlearn the things that once made sense to me (maybe I’ll share more details in a different blog post when I am ready). But when I look at all the stuff I’ve overcome in the past and how strong it made me as well as shaping elements of who I am, it gives me the confidence to embrace tough moments like this one, knowing with time and patience, this too shall pass.
2. Fickle Friends
I am a guarded person, who is at the same time loving and accepting of just about anyone. I value my friendships and so when I finally let my guard down and let you in, the last thing I ever want to happen is to be let down by the people I least expect it from. But such is life and some friends will screw you over at some point during the course of your friendship, either intentionally or unintentionally. They will also offer apologies they don’t mean and some really could not give a fxck about your wellbeing as much as they claim to.
Most times it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. So don’t take it to heart when a friend does you wrong. Instead take it as an opportunity to learn as much from that negative situation as you can so that you can become wiser at spotting who is fickle and only there for their own benefit.
These are lessons my daddy taught me from an early age and still continues to drill in my head whenever I have mini meltdowns but it’s all finally starting to set root now. I am however thankful for the friends that have held it down for me for so long (had to put that in there to avoid being crucified for this part lol)
3. When people throw you under the bus, ride the bus
In life people will throw you under the bus (nothing new there). When I say people I mean co-workers, people you’ve just met, people you don’t even know and so on. It’s so trippy and can really hit you hard when you aren’t used to it. But damn -I was listening to Joyce Meyer the other day and she explained how she was thrown under the bus MANY TIMES but now she rides it! Don’t become that person who’s identity becomes what people did to you or what people failed to do for you. Take responsibility boo. Ride. The. Damn. Bus.
4.You will fxck up and let yourself down
How do you forgive yourself when you fxck up or let yourself down? Like we’ve been taught about forgiving others and dealing with people that let us down but there is very little discussion on how to deal with these things when YOU are the problem. 2016 showed me my flaws (I mean, I knew I had flaws but 2016 made me face them).
It’s an uncomfortable territory to enter because sometimes you just want to brush it all under the mat and pretend none of the bad things about you exist. But reality is they do and eventually you have to deal with it.
“The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.” -Joe Klass
Indeed the truth will piss you off but you will grow and come out a better person. Don’t run away from your shxt.
5. Everyone else is also trying to figure their own shxt out
Being in my 20’s I thought I would have life figured out in fact I thought I had life figured out to the tee. I’ve always put my best foot forward in trying to be the best that I can be and as a result of that effort, I’ve done some amazing things yet on the other hand I look at my some of the decisions I’ve made I’m just like…
But then I speak to other 20 somethings and I realize nobody really has it together or all figured out (some do though don’t get me wrong I could actually name drop those who do) but some of us are still figuring it out and that is okay! It’s also okay to figure it out then lose it and start all over again.
On the road to figuring it out, though, don’t take yourself too seriously (I know sometimes I do and this is never a good thing) -because some things are genuinely never that deep. Don’t allow those who have it all figured out make you feel inferior or less than because perhaps if you really knew them for who they truly are deep down, you might just find that they are just as lost or confused but will never show it.
Social media doesn’t help either, all our lives look “picture perfect” but that doesn’t mean they actually are. Remember that next time before you assume someone has it all together based on what you see.
If you’ve just finished reading this and perhaps resonated with the fact that indeed 2016 was a year of realizing things, share your revelations below.