The Ugly Truth

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Being Mary Jane‘ is one of the only TV shows I watch religiously and it is back with season 3 (woohoo). Yes this post is based on a TV series so don’t judge me. I remember complaining to a friend about how “bland” the first two episodes had been. For those of you who are familiar with the characters, I also gave a few remarks on how I supported the way Mary Jane had treated her ‘best friend’ Lisa, after the news broke that she had an affair with Mary Jane’s on and off lover David.

In the latest episode of the show, Lisa committed suicide and at first, I was all touchy feely about what I had said last week. Then I also realized her character was just difficult to understand. I felt bad because I had done what we all often do when people annoy us or vibe with us in the wrong way. I criticized her character without knowing the basis of who she really was. (I know it’s a little confusing if you do not watch the show) but hopefully you’ll get something out of my post.

Episode 3 touched a few nerves for me (duhhh, I’m here blogging about it). I have been a faithful viewer of the show since it first started. That’s no surprise to my poor snapchat followers who are subjected to small snippets of the show whenever I watch it. However, this episode made me tear up and also reinforced some of the things we often avoid. It touched on several issues such as relationships, suicide, depression, broken friendships, dishonesty, family feuds and so much more. Here are my top 5 takeaways from episode 3:

It’s okay not to be okay

Who are we all kidding? Life is not all roses and sunshine. It is also not one big blob of sadness or bad events. It is often a mixture of both and if we lucky enough we will have more of the brighter days than the darker ones. During the tough times that seem trialing or too much to bare, it’s important to always remind yourself that this too shall pass.

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When you can: check on your friends

We hear this all the time and we take it lightly. Instead we are more inclined re-tweet about it on twitter and post quotes about how we should look out for each other. But how many of us really take the time to ask our friends how they really are?  How many of us take it a step further to push for a genuine answer? Most people will tell you they are “okay” when you ask them how they are. In addition to that, very few people probe for a more detailed response from their friends. Fair enough, life does get super busy and not all of us have the patience or the time to sit and listen to our friends moan and groan about their life troubles. However, sometimes just the mere thought of sending a text message or calling your friends to have a quick chat can make a huge difference to whatever battles they are fighting.

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You won’t  always get through to everyone

In connection with checking in on your friends, sometimes even when you do check on them offer some form of help, you won’t always yield a positive outcome or response from them. This has been the hardest lesson for me to get used to, especially with people I love so dearly. Nothing hurts more than watching the person you love give up on life. Nothing hurts more than knowing that your love isn’t going to be enough to motivate them to fight and stay on course with you. I’ve lost a few battles to people who were struggling with some deep issues. It didn’t matter how much love or help I was willing to offer, it simply wasn’t enough to inspire change in them.

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Don’t wait to bring flowers to say nice things

Funerals are probably the most dope places you can go to where people will say the nicest things and cry rivers over a person who has passed on. It doesn’t matter how psychotic the person was when they were alive; when they die, they automatically become this angelic person who “just needed more love.” Why do we wait to bring flowers to a funeral, to tell people how incredible they were or how much they meant to us? Why can’t we feel compassion and say nice things when they are alive? (I’m asking you guys because I don’t know the logic behind this, I am just as guilty when it comes to this. I suppose we all get caught up in our temporary feelings, that we neglect the fact that all of our time here on earth is limited).

We really should be celebrating each other as much as we can to avoid guilt filled tears at funerals that stem from not having expressed our love to those we claimed to care about fully when they were still with us.

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                                                                            Heaven music video (Beyonce)


If the love is still too complicated: Let it go

That ex of yours that you swear you love yet you are always in limbo with; let that sh*t go honey. Eventually there comes a time when you both have to cut ties FOR GOOD! A relationship where there is no telling if you will be together tomorrow or back together next month is not healthy. It is not healthy for you, it is not healthy for your partner, and is certainly not healthy for the people around both of you. In my experience of dealing with matters of the heart, when I look at it from a different view, I am able to say it was never really all that complicated. I just made it that way by failing to communicate how I really felt or what I really wanted from the person I “loved.” We also complicate things by allowing our own issues to stain the relationship.

If you know you have issues with yourself, adding another human being who probably has their own issues to that equation might just complicate things further. It really helps to at peace with your issues before you allow someone in. Note I said be at peace not be perfect! So if the love is not helping you grow, let it go baby.

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There was so much more content I would have loved to share with you guys but these were my top things from Episode 3 of Being Mary Jane, that I felt I really needed to share, if not with you guys then with MYSELF so it can serve as a reminder of areas I need to work more on in my life.

What did you think about Episode 3 and was there anything you felt I could have touched more on from what I shared? 

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