Before you judge my post by the title and the fact that I used some derogatory language to capture your attention, please bare with me on this one because I am indeed going somewhere with this. However, if you are easily offended by the use of swear words, perhaps check in with my blog next week for new content because this one contains several F bombs in its entirety. Now that I have tried my best to warn some of you sensitive folk, lets get right into it.
I’ve been seeing the word “fuckboy” being used alot lately on social media, in memes, conversations between people and so much more. I have also heard my friends using the term and ofcourse Twitter is the number one social media platform for the effective use of hashtags to create discussions about “fuckboys” so I’ve seen a fair bit of this word there too.
So what is a fuckboy? If you type the word into Google, funny enough a couple of definitions and explanations will come up. Below are a few examples of what could potentially come up if you go searching on google.
After reading some of these explanations, everything surrounding this word now makes sense. Everything about a fuckboy is bad news I suppose and the word was probably birthed out of an enraged female (or male) who was sick of dealing with sloppy behavior from the male species when it comes to matters of the heart and needed a word that would really get peoples attention (ofcourse I totally made that up, I have no idea why or how this phrase came about but that is one possibility indeed). Whatever the reasoning behind this word, it got my attention and it sure has the attention of many other individuals.
When I look back at some of my past relationships/potential relationships with boys, I can actually say that I have dealt with a few boys that would easily fall under this category. When you are new at the whole dating thing and you’ve been sheltered so much growing up, it is so easy to fall into messy situations simply because you start of with this classic mistake: You believe everyone has the same heart as you/has good intentions for you. Then ofcourse you find out the hard way that not all that glitters is gold and that perhaps the so called butterflies you once felt in your stomach at the thought, sight or feeling of your man/potential man, were nothing but moths.
Sadly for some people, we do not learn the first time. We may go through the same process over and over again because each time we think we have mastered how to be in a loving relationship and how to protect our hearts, we are constantly dealing with new situations that push our boundaries and limits.
It has taken me a very long time to acknowledge and realize that the problem was never the men I dealt with. The problem was me. I was responsible for giving men my time and attention. So how could I possibly only be mad at the man? How could I possibly point fingers and be so enraged when my fairy tale of being in a loving relationship didn’t quite manifest the way I had hoped for it to? It took a lot of soul searching to finally get the courage to admit that I was responsible for my broken heart. Although I could not always determine or control the actions of the other person I was dealing with, I could control how I reacted and the choices I could make as a result of being hurt or disappointment by them.
The bottom line is this; we can go to the market and back complaining about these fuckboys and YES they deserve to be called out for their sloppy behavior and selfish ways but at the end of the day none of us can change a persons behavior. So my take on this whole topic is that we become more educated about it. We need to know how to spot the red flags but most importantly we need to work on ourselves so we do not end up entertaining the wrong company.
Lastly, I thought I would finish off with something for my readers to ponder or to make you laugh a bit. I have put together some of my favorite picks from an article about “how to know if you are dealing with a fuckboy” from The Thought Catalog, a website dedicated to stories and ideas.
…15 Tragic Signs You’re Dealing With A Fuckboy
He says he doesn’t believe in labels.
Major warning sign you are dealing with a fuckboy is when a guy wants to keep things in the gray period and says he doesn’t believe in labels. What’s wrong with labels? I love labels! They help keep shit organized and let you know where you stand. A fuckboy doesn’t want you to know where you stand, though. He wants to just keep doing the damn thing without actually committing because then that way, when everything falls apart, he doesn’t have to be responsible for your feelings. He can be all, “well, we were never officially together…”
He talks shit about all of his exes or says they were “crazy”.
He never has a single nice thing to say about his exes. They all wronged him in some way.
He says exactly what he thinks you want to hear.
You confront him on his shit and he says things like “you’re totally right.” He says he’ll change. He’ll tell you reasons why you’re better than him. But fuckboy keeps doing what fuckboys always do.
He keeps hitting on you even after you’ve rejected him or he’s with another girl.
f u c k b o y
“Wanna come over and watch Netflix?”
A classic fuckboy line.