Morning Blues

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Today I woke up feeling a bit down in the sense that I felt like the year was so big for me and now its relaxed with not much to do. This has left me feeling a little bit out of balance and most would say it is a good thing because I can relax and chill but a part of me feels bad for how smooth the rest of December is playing out to be. Should I be doing more if so what? The last thing I want is to lose my focus and drive to become a better person each day and work towards my dreams.

It is very true what they say: “motivation doesn’t last, which is why it is recommended daily”. Similar to the idea of bathing really, we have to bath everyday to stay clean and I suppose I have to find ways to motivate myself each day in order for me to stay focused. On the days where I have very little to do, I find it difficult to get motivated. I find it quite funny actually because I am always the one who is talking about motivation yet sometimes I fail to practice what I preach. There is always a voice in the back of my mind that tells me I already have the knowledge, I just need to dig a bit deeper and trust the process a bit more but most of all I should not be comparing my progress to another person. Comparison is truly the worst, it can make you bitter, jealous or angry if you allow it. I always try to let it inspire me and push me to work harder.

My aunt pointed out to me the other day that I am very impatient. Ofcourse in the moment I disagreed with her opinion but now that I take a look back, I think there was definitely some truth in her judgement. I don’t believe I am impatient in all things but sometimes when it comes to progress I am. There is so much I want to achieve for myself. There are goals that I have set and some of them I have given myself a time frame. This is where my impatience will sometimes kick in because not everything is going to happen all at once and not everything is going to go according to plan. That is the hardest part for me to accept because regardless of wether I like it or not those are the things I have no control over.

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