Will Smith shares some invaluable information and advice from his personal experience. I think we could all pick a thing or two from what he shares about what we want out of life and the value other people add to your life.
Are you adding any value to theirs? I think that life is too short to get stuck in confusion and uncertainty for too long. Clarity is always needed to get through difficult situations and make hard choices.
Here is what Will Smith had to say about his personal experience and the lessons he has learned. It sure got me thinking about how I have been living my life but it is never too late to redefine who you are and what you stand for.
How it all started
I think a lot of people think that when you have money, that everything gets really easy, Hell Naw! Jada and I have been together for 17 years. If you look at it like a sports record, we are probably like 15 and 2. When we got started, we both truly connected on wanting to be better. That’s where it all started. There were other people that we were dating and other people that we were attracted to, but there was a commitment to constantly be better that was what we connected on. Our whole world and relationship was that, “Hey, I know that I may not be all of that today but what I’m not going to do is lay around and not keep working to be better to deserve you.”
The central idea of love is not even a relationship commitment, the first thing is a personal commitment to be the best version of yourself with or without that person that you’re with. You have to every single day, mind, body, and spirit, wake up with a commitment to be better. Don’t make that same mistake tomorrow that you made today.
On the people you spend the most time with
When you look around at the six people that you spend the most time with, that’s who you are. I think that in making those decisions in who you are going to be married to, who your friends are going to be, those are really huge, critical, life decisions. Who gets to talk to you everyday, is almost like the food that you eat.
On having freedom in marriage to grow
The idea is that you are two people together, but in that process, the marriage cannot be a prison. There has to be a freedom that allows a person to grow. A person has to be allowed to make mistakes, and a person has to be allowed to become and grow without the threat of punishment. I think that in the concept of our marriages because of our own insecurities, we lay it out in a way like, “Hey, that’s a deal breaker.” I hear people talk about the concept of the deal breakers and it’s really in conflict with loving somebody.
On checking your insecurities so that you are able to love someone unconditionally
When I think about my relationship with Jada, when it comes to love, as soon as you put yourself in a love relationship, you’ve got to check your insecurities. When you love somebody, and you feel yourself slipping, you will fight, scratch, and claw, to not be in that uncomfortable space. You have traumas that happen with your mother and father, or an old girlfriend, or an old boyfriend, that you’ve got to address personally, if you want to truly be able to love somebody. Our traumas keep us away from being able to truly love someone unconditionally.
In this world, there are difficulties with just getting out of the bed everyday. Trying to love on top of that is excruciating. It is absolutely not something to be taken lightly or easy when you say you’re going to marry somebody, you have to be willing to go through hell. You have to be willing to collide with the weakest parts of yourself. You have to look at the things about you on a higher spiritual plane. You have to look at the things about you that are cowardly, that are angry or mean, resentful. You have to be able to look at those things about yourself that are not spiritually healthy parts.
On becoming a better person because of his marriage
Jada has made me a better person than anyone on earth could have every done. Just her passion, power, and relentless unwillingness to let me lay down at night when I’ve only done 92 percent of what I was supposed to do that day, holds me to a higher standard.